My Sunshine & Little Stars わたしのタカラモノ in London

とあるEメール

知らない名前の人からEメールが届いた。
恐るおそる開けてみると、以前の職場CXHで治療を受けていたとある患者さんが亡くなったことを知らせる、おそらく彼の友人がEメールリストを通じて送ったものだった。
患者さんのHaniこと、Dr. Aは、60歳代前半の多発肝転移ありの大腸がんで、乳がんチームに属していた私は外来では診ていなかったけれども、化学療法を始めるにあたり通常外来化学療法ユニットで働いている私のところにやってきた。なんだか、話好き、というか、話したいことがたくさんありすぎるような感じのする方で、化学療法の副作用なんかの話をしたあとに、自分は考古学者でイラクから若い頃に亡命してイギリスにきたこと、イラク戦争が始まったころイギリス政府に資産凍結されてしまったこと、でも長年にわたり自分を受け入れてくれたイギリスという国に感謝していること、昔好きな人がいてその人は日本人女性だったこと、などなど。30-40分くらい話し続け、私もちょっと困ったなあ・・と思ったりしていたのだが。また明らかに日本人訛り英語の私に「君が英語を上達したいなら、「Alice in the Wonderland不思議の国のアリス」を声に出して何度も何度も読むといいよ。」など、ボランティアで英語の先生などもしているなどなど。Eメールアドレスも教えておいて、と言われたので教えたりして。
実際、化学療法が始まってからは、お一人暮らしだったこともあり不安だったのだろう、おそらく持ち前の交渉力を発揮して主治医を説得したらしく、次クールからは入院して化学療法を受けるようにしたらしく私がいる外来ユニットには来なくなっていた。
数ヶ月して、彼が主催する化学療法ナースの養成をサポートするチャリティ美術展の案内を見たが、残念なことに私は行くことができなかった。
そして、今日、このEメールが届き・・・。
本当に人はいつかは、そのときが来たら逝ってしまうのだなあ・・・と改めて思い知り。わかっているはずなのに、普段は忘れてしまって日々をもったいなく過ごすことのなんと多いことか・・・。
一回話しをしただけの患者さんだったけれども、心がぎゅっと軋むような寂しさを感じた。毎日を、瞬間瞬間を大切にしようと改めて思いました。

(以下、届いたEメール)
As is now generally known, Hani died last night. It was time for him to go - his friends knew it and he knew it. The pain and the suffering had to come to an end.

It was Hani's wish to be returned to Iraq for burial in his beloved homeland. His sister is here from Sweden and helping with arrangements to have him flown there. At some future date, there will be a memorial service in London.

We were all so lucky to have had Hani in our lives.

Hani had been in exile from Iraq's Ba'athist regime since, I think, shortly before Saddam took control in 1979. He had been employed by the Baghdad Museum as an archaeologist, and his speciality was Roman antiquities in the Middle East. But this one man google could tell you all about the minutest details of any region or even family name anywhere in the Middle East. So we have lost not only a friend, but a vast storehouse of knowledge that it is now too late to download.

We who have not experienced the loss of our birthplace can only imagine the pain of seeing your homeland damaged by successive regimes. Moreover, as a historian, it must have wrenched his insides to see historical sites defiled by Saddam, then abused even further by American forces using them as military bases. He cried inside.

Hani's character was formed by the great wisdom of his father and the lovingkindness of his mother. Sometimes the one came to the fore when the other character qualities would have been more appropriate. But that's what made Hani Hani. We wouldn't have wanted him any other way.

Hani was a fairly talented sculptor, and lectured at Camberwell College of Art when I first knew him. When he wasn't lecturing, he was fighting off young girls who wanted to pose for his life studies in sculpture. All forms of the creative arts were his great passion in life, second only to his love of knowledge, politics and history. With his mind on these higher ideals, it is not surprising that he could not deal efficiently with the everyday boring routines of life like record keeping, bills and filing, as his family and friends are about to find out.

Hani had a very loving character : he wanted to befriend everyone and find out all about them. Some people mistook this for a pick-up routine, but nothing could have been further from the truth.......... he was just a cute little guy wanting to be liked. I always thought that the great sadness in Hani's life was that he never became a father. He would have been wonderful, as he was in so many other aspects of his too short life.

May his God bless him and protect him
[PR]



by marikology14 | 2011-02-23 19:28 | 医療

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